Guilt Can Try to Ruin Everything
Well here it goes....
I love my son with my WHOLE heart but I must admit I don't love being a mommy 24/7, 365 days a year.
There! I said it!
For some reason, this odd idea is floating around that if you're a mother then everything about motherhood should be met with an immediate rush of joy and excitement. Even better, if you don't love every single moment that comes with motherhood then you must not love your child enough!
This, my dear, is false. It's actually kind of ludicrous when you think about it.
My son is my heart, but there is absolutely nothing in me that enjoyed the 4 months of back and forth potty training, I did not enjoy the "I'm-going-to-throw-things-and-watch-you-pick-it-up-and-then-throw-it-again" phase when he was one, and there have been moments when I glanced over with a tiny bit of envy at the childless couple eating their dinner in peace while mine screamed for food and the waiter was moving painfully slow.
There are moments in motherhood that don't make me crap out glitter and joy and that's normal and that's okay. It doesn't make my love any less deep for my son, and the same remains true for you.
It's thought processes like these that block us from allowing ourselves down time, that magnify our mistakes and shrink our triumphs as moms. Guilt will stop us from accepting our true feelings and move forward. It's this nagging little emotion that shames you for every little thing. It's not just not loving every moment either, it tends to rear it's head for mothers whenever we try to take a breather when we contemplate spending some extra time pursuing a goal when we refuse to clean for a few hours when we lock the door to the bathroom to pee....
In the words of Michael Scott "whenever I try to do something fun you make it...not that way." That's guilt's special power.
But taking care of ourselves makes us more resilient as mothers, makes us more patient, kind and understanding. We are our children's corner stone and the beams that hold our family up! When we start falling apart, our kids feel the weight of it. Self-care is important for you and for your children! (Check out this past post on self-care for your child's sake)
Being happy with the tasks of motherhood (reading with my son, fixing his lunches, making forts), and being happy with the things I like to do without my son guilt free (ballroom dancing, visiting coffee shops, watching Empire) is an important balance we mothers have to practice maintaining. I need to supplement some of the less than desirable moments in motherhood with some self-care time. When you're truly happy and fulfilled in all aspects your life then it tends to take the sting out of those sucky times.
It's important, crucial and necessary to practice self-care on the regular basis and stay connected with who you are as a woman separate of your kid(s).
So make goals and don't be afraid to crush them (no need to wait for the kids to grow up and move out), do more things that make YOU happy, say no more, say yes when you want to, be fearless and be an example for the life you want your child to live. Happy, fulfilled and purposeful!