How I Use the Days I Suck as a Mom for Good
Unfortunately, these kinds of days happen. The ones where I most definitely should have paid more attention to my son, the ones where selfishness motivated my decisions, the ones where I was too short tempered and over reactive, etc.
Maybe those days don't make me suck as a mom overall, but they can definitely be demoralizing and make me feel that way. Those days I take responsibility for. I am human and it happens so I offer myself a little grace. But I also do my best to make sure those kinds of days are few-ish and far in between.
So, how do I do use the day I sucked at a mom for good? I can’t take it back so the next best thing is to somehow learn from it.
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These kinds of days are perfect check points.
Check points can be more than just looking back on that day and agreeing that I could have done better. It’s an in depth look about what drove me to that point in the first place, and seeing if there’s anything that needs some extra attention.
For example, I noticed one day I was extremely irritable with everything. Not like “Oh, she’s having a bad day” irritated, but “who the hell kicked her puppy?” kind of day. Borderline angry for no reason. It was a day when the tiniest request would be met with an exasperated remark and a “do it yourself” snap followed with rapid guilt. I spent that night journaling and wrote down why I was feeling so irritated and what might have led up to it. It was during that time that I took inventory about how my days leading up to that have been. I’m not a morning person and when I’m tired, I’m cranky. I noticed I had been getting into the habit of hitting snooze a million times and wasn’t sleeping well. I also had gotten out of my morning routine and started going to bed later and later. That day was the crescendo of too many nights of restless sleep and bad habits.
Once I identified what was building up, I took steps to prevent it.
You see, the days when we’ve fallen short typically don’t just come out of the blue. I’d bet my money that it’s something that had been accumulated and/or left unresolved.
So, while I wish those days never happened, I’ve learned to use them as a checkpoint. A time to take a step back and evaluate where I might be getting off track. Sometimes this results in me reestablishing my self-care like getting better sleep, sometimes it’s setting some clearer boundaries for my son like limiting his screen time, other times I just need to acknowledge that I could have done better and move on. Either way, these kinds of day’s can point attention towards something that might have otherwise stayed buried. So, take heart, because even the bad days can shine some light that point towards good.